by Diana Dorell
I sat at my laptop with a big smile on my face, re-reading the email to make sure I was seeing it correctly:
"Colette would LOVE to be on your Show December 21!"
I consider her to be a great mentor of mine, obviously a huge inspiration in the field and I've always admired her candid nature and ability to "tell it like it is" from a place of full Goddess power and confidence. I'll always remember Scottsdale, Arizona...a few years before this crazy journey towards being an intuitive began.Background: Rebelling
It was Colette's intensive years ago that set me on my path of being an intuitive healer...a role I had been avoiding like eating veggies because I was terrified of all the responsiblity I perceived would go along with that profession. Nevermind that my grandmother and grandmother before that were all medicine women...I didn't care if it was "in my blood. bones or FATE.
I was going to be an actress and that was that, thankyouverymuch. None of that "woo-woo stuff for me. :)The Day Spirit Intervened:
Back then I was so unsure of myself and where the heck I was going in life in general and I remember one day in her intensive, she asked for volunteers to go up onstage and try an exercise with her she called "The Goblin." 3 chairs were set up each representing our "Ego/Goblin", Higher Self and Present Self.
I had slept exactly 3 hours the night before awoken by psychic messages,
I wore my glasses ,a baggy orange house dress with my favorite pink pashmina and sat in the very last row hoping to disappear into the sea of other faces. I honestly have no idea what she was talking about or what we were doing, but apparently Spirit did, because the next thing I know, she's calling for the "girl in the pink pashmina" and I ended up onstage!
(I truly know it was Divine Intervention because the entire walk from my seat to the stage is a complete blur).
I thought it was all hocus pocus.
My EGO was going to talk to my Higher Self about what it thought of me?
How much did I pay for the course again?
(Of course, now I know that limiting thought WAS me being in Ego.)
And again, I think being extremely tired helped because I seemed to have absolutely no filter or guard up which terrified me, but was perfect for the exercise.
Colette asked , "Ok, Ego, what is true about Diana? Tell us now.."
I stared out at all the eyes looking at me and there was silence. And then..the answer I/my Ego blurted out was..
"She's FAT. And she's not beautiful at all...she'll never help anyone!"
...and all sorts of other hurtful, negative things kept spewing out of my mouth, I could barely keep up! I looked up at Colette with horror at what was just said, opened my eyes, which had started to tear up and then I started to apologize profusely.
"Stop.No need to apologize, Diana," she replied. "We're not finished..."Oh, great
, I thought.Breakthrough:
Colette kept asking my Ego questions to get to what was REALLY underneath all the negative self-talk and the question that got us there was:
"Why do you need to protect Diana, Ego? What are you protecting her from?
"People might hurt her. She's a healer and she's helped people but they have hurt her badly in the past..."
And then, my entire body started shaking uncontrollably and I felt totally out of body.
I saw a flash of myself in what must have been a past life.
It was Salem, Mass and I was indeed a healer....and had been punished for using my gifts. So much that apparently in this lifetime, I was terrified to even consider going there again.
Colette got very serious and after consoling me, she addressed the audience:
"Many healers have been chastised for their abilities. But, we cannot let the past dictate our present or our future."
She looked me straight in the eye and said something to the effect of: "Diana, you ARE a Healer. It is not wishful thinking. You may be afraid but your gifts are still there and they are to be used." And then she gave me a hug, and I went back to my seat as the room burst into crazy applause.
I guess you can say that was the day I knew my life was about to change dramatically. And it did...but the rest is for another story for another time.
Thank you Colette.This week's inspirational quote:
"The only way you can grow in understanding and discover whether a thing is good or bad, Blake says, is to DO IT.- from the book, If you want to Write
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